Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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