): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
