Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
