I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
