Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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