Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
