Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
