and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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