the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
