real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
