Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
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