My hand turned me down
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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