i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
