A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
