I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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