I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
