No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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