do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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