Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
