Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize