It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
