so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
