She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
