I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
