But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
