I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize