i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
