You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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