My brain says no but my pants say off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
