Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize