Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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