But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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