We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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