he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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