She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
