Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
