May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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