I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
