wanna go halves on a baby?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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