if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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