Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
