So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
