I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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