so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We named our party play list daddy issues
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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