Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
