Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
