Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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