im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we're so committed to being not committed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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