Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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