how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
