barbara walters just said penis...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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