Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
