So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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