Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
