I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
