As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
