??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
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After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't turn off my feet"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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