We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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