The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
