dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
