tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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