problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
